


Say You Won't Let Go

by wolfpackof1



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bluesey - Freeform, F/M, Falling In Love, Washington D.C.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 22:03:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20419544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfpackof1/pseuds/wolfpackof1
Summary: Three years after the events of their senior year, Blue and Gansey reconnect in Washington, DC. [Complete]





	Say You Won't Let Go

CHAPTER I - MAY

It began in the spring, a week after St. Mark’s Day.

Blue Sargent was barista-ing at the coffee shop she worked at in Northern Virginia, the Daily Grind. She had worked there for three years now after graduating high school in Henrietta, the small town she’d grown up in. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either, and the regulars were always friendly and happy to see her. It was, in short, her way of life following the events of her senior year.

The Raven Boys and Blue had fallen out of touch after their adventures together in Henrietta. Nothing serious, just five people (well, four and a ghost) who had become adults and caught up in their own lives. Blue still occasionally spoke to Adam, at UVA on a full scholarship, and through him Ronan, who was still living at the Barns. But Gansey was now a high-powered senator, the youngest one in history, working and living in DC and detached from the rest of the gang, and his old life.

As for Noah, no one had seen or heard him since Gansey’s re-rebirth on the ley line.

Cherry blossom season was in full bloom when Blue heard the door to the Daily Grind open.

“I’ll be with you in one minute,” she called without turning around while finishing up a latte for the florist who worked in the shop across the street.

“No hurry,” said a familiar voice, and Blue’s heart stopped for a second.

She’d know that voice anywhere.

_ Gansey _ .

They had parted ways still on complicated terms. The prophecy surrounding Blue’s true love was still in place, and Gansey was….possibly her true love? She still wasn’t quite sure. In any event, they had never fully expressed how they felt (how  _ did _ they feel?) to one another, and never gone past holding hands.

She took a deep breath, and turned slowly while holding the hot drink. His eyes met hers, and he looked just as shook to see her as she was to see him.

“Blue,” he said. “I -”

“Here’s your latte, Delilah,” she interrupted. The florist hurried forward and grabbed her coffee and left. Blue and Gansey were now alone in the shop.

He looked good, she couldn’t deny that. Senatorship agreed with him for sure. Gansey wore a dark navy suit and sky blue tie with a small American flag pin on his lapel.

For a split second, Blue stifled a giggle.  _ Talk about President Cellphone _ .

“What are you doing here,” she asked him, the question coming out more rudely than she’d intended.

He smirked a little bit. “This is a coffee shop, is it not?”

Blue had to quickly shake herself. “Of course. What can I get for you, sir?” she asked in her best customer service voice.

“I - An espresso, please. Double shot.”

While turned around making the drink Blue could feel his eyes on her.  _ What was he doing? They  _ were  _ just outside DC, but still….Did he know she worked here before coming in? _

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Gansey said pleasantly, apparently having regained his professional demeanor. “I would have come in sooner.”

Blue snorted. She very much doubted  _ that _ . If he had really wanted to see her, he could have reached out years before, right?

She turned around, and his smirk was back. “It’s not very professional to snort at customers, now is it Jane?”

Blue was about ready to throw the espresso in his face when the door to the shop opened again and a family came in and started looking at the menu board. Instead she smiled sweetly.

“Here’s your espresso. On the house. Have a lovely day, sir,” she told him. Gansey reeled as if she had actually thrown something at him. He took the drink, nodded once at her, and left the shop.

Well, at least one good thing had come of the encounter. If Blue hadn’t been sure before, she definitely was now - Gansey was most certainly  _ not _ her true love.

But the next day, he was back.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said without preface. Blue looked around at the coffee shop. It was a Saturday morning, and every table had at least one or two people sitting at it. He had also waited in a long line, with more behind him.

“Here?” she asked. “Like, now?”

Gansey looked around. “I suppose not,” he conceded. “How about lunch? Tomorrow?”

Blue was so surprised by this, she felt herself nod.

“Excellent,” he said. “I’ll text you.” And again, just as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone.

Her shift ended at 3pm, when the Daily Grind closed for the day. It was indeed a coincidence that she had tomorrow off, as she usually worked Sundays. For a split second, she suspected Gansey Collusion™ - then shook it off. Just at that moment, her phone buzzed with a text.

_ Let’s meet at Tomatoes for lunch tomorrow. Does 1 work? _

Blue snorted again, both at his familiar decide-everything attitude and his perfect texting grammar. She quickly responded.

_ ya _

Sunday she woke up late - around 10 - as a concession to having to wake up early to be at work most days. It would only take 45 minutes walking to get to Tomatoes though, so she took her time getting ready.

It took her a while to decide what to wear, finally settling on rain boots and one of her modified sweatshirts as well as a number of rings.

Gansey was already at the restaurant when she got there. “I got us a table,” he called unnecessarily when she opened the door. The restaurant was nearly empty.

Blue sat down awkwardly across from him. The waitress appeared shortly and immediately began falling all over herself over Gansey.

“Senator Gansey,” she gushed. “It’s an honor to have you here at Tomatoes today. What can I get for you and your, um, date?”

Blue immediately began to protest, but Gansey held up a hand, frustrating her even more. “Thank you so much. It’s a pleasure to be here. Can we have a few minutes with the menu, please?”

The waitress nodded and went back towards the kitchen, leaving Blue and Gansey alone.

“So,” Blue said. “Senator, huh?”

Gansey nodded. “Virginia, district 14.”

“Well, I didn’t vote for you,” Blue told him, and immediately cringed as she realized how rude she sounded. She had no reason specifically to be mad at him, she told herself. They had just grown apart, as so many teenage romances and friendships do.

He smiled. “That’s alright. Neither did Ronan.”

Blue did a double-take. “You’re in touch with Adam and Ronan?” she asked.

Gansey looked confused. “Of course I am. Are you?”

“Yes,” said Blue, “and neither of them have mentioned you in years.”

“Funny, I could say the same thing.” Their eyes met for a moment, as if sizing each other up, then both burst out laughing.

“It’s good to see you, Gansey,” said Blue.

“You too, Jane.”

The waitress returned and they both ordered complicated-sounding pasta dishes.

“How are the ladies of Fox Way?” Gansey asked.

“Oh, you know,” said Blue dismissively. “Mom and Artemus are OK. He’s living with her now. Orla is big into some MLM scheme involving nail polish. Gwenlillian is working in a preschool. Calla is - well, Calla. And all the rest are fine, of course. How’s Helen and your parents?”

“Well, very well. Mother is rather pleased with my job choice, as you can imagine. And Helen has a new girlfriend, which Mother is also pleased with. Quite good for our image, you know?” They shared a conspiratorial smile, both being very aware of Gansey’s mother’s valuable “image.”

The food came and they chatted as they ate, light and easy topics such as DC traffic and Gansey’s mother’s latest campaign.

“How did you come to be working in a coffee shop? And in DC?” he asked.

“I already had food service experience,” Blue explained. “And I wanted to move out of Fox Way. Orla had a friend in this part of Virginia so I’ve been living with her and her boyfriend - and sometimes Orla - for the last three years. Since we graduated, actually. How did you find the Daily Grind?”

Gansey smiled. “I’m always on the hunt for good coffee.”

“And how did you get into the whole politics thing? Too much ‘Take your child to work day?’”

He smiled again, a bit sheepishly. “Pretty much. Mother talked me into it, but I’ve really been enjoying feeling like I can make a difference, you know?”

Blue did not know, but she liked his smile, and wanted him to keep smiling. “And what ever happened to us traveling?”

His grin grew. “I’ll book our tickets as soon as you say the word.”

  
  


CHAPTER II - JUNE

After their lunch, Blue and Gansey had met up one other time, at a Starbucks near downtown. It was sort of a disaster - Blue refused to take her sunglasses and scarf off the entire time for fear of being seen at a  _ chain _ coffee shop, god forbid. And Gansey had been  _ recognized _ \- they were interrupted no less than four times, plus twice on the way out, by Virginians and even some non-Virginians looking to praise or deride his recent policy decisions. All in all, the mood had been tense and they had parted without making plans to see each other again.

So it had been a bit of a surprise when the florist across the street had come in one Tuesday morning with a bouquet of lilacs for “Jane.”

“There’s no ‘Jane’ here,” Blue tried to explain, but Delilah was insistent that the bouquet was indeed for Blue.

“He seemed quite sure that they were for you,” the florist explained. “Very good looking young man, wearing a nice blue suit with -”

Blue sighed and interrupted. “A flag lapel pin, talking on a cell phone. I know. Thanks, Delilah,” Blue told her and took the lilacs.

_ Gansey _ . When would he stop surprising her? Blue wouldn’t have thought he’d still be able to. She thought back to when they were in high school in Henrietta - if he would have tried to give her flowers then, she probably would have chopped one of his hands off. But she was older now, and a little more world-weary. It was, she supposed, a nice gesture. She pulled out her phone to send a text.

_ Thx for the flowers _

His response was almost immediate.

_ I hope it was appropriate. I was worried you would want to chop off my hand or something. _

Blue smirked. She was more predictable than she would have liked.

_ Maybe if u ever try it again _

When her shift was over, Blue brought the lilacs home and put them in water. Her roommate Tia, who was Orla’s friend, oohed and aahed over them and asked who they were from so many times Blue removed them from the kitchen and brought them into her room, where she set them on her desk.

She wasn’t allowed to paint her room, as the apartment was a rental. Instead Blue had covered every surface with patterned tapestries and fairy lights, giving the room a sort of “opium den chic” feel (as Maura had deemed it). The flowers looked out of place, which Blue liked. It was sort of how she felt about Gansey being back in her life.

He had asked her to lunch or coffee twice more since the Starbucks debacle, and both times she had to decline because of work. Since then she hadn’t heard from him, and she was starting to think he had gotten the idea that she was blowing him off.

It was this thought that propelled Blue to call President Cellphone himself and see what he was up to.

“Hello?” He answered the phone in a near whisper.

“Gansey? What’s up?”

She could hear muffled talking on the other end in the background, and then - “I’m at work right now.”

“Oh!”

“Sorry. Did you need something?” he asked.

Whatever she had been about to say seemed less important than interrupting the US Congress. “No. I’ll text you,” she said hurriedly and hung up.

What  _ had _ she been going to say to him? ‘Hey Gansey, just seeing what’s up, wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you a lot since -’ Blue derailed  _ that _ particular train of thought as quickly as it had started. She was  _ not _ thinking of Gansey like that - right?

He called her back late, after 9pm.

“You never texted me,” he said, and she could hear his pout through the phone.

Blue smiled. “Sorry. Got distracted,” she told him.

“Oh,” he said. “Well, was everything all right?”

“Yeah. How was work?”

He sighed. “It was fine. Just a tense political climate, you know? There’s a lot of arguing going on.”

She knew. There were marches and protests on the news every other day, and notices of violence felt like they came every few hours. 

Gansey spoke again. “Do you ever think about the ley line?”

Well.  _ That _ came out of nowhere. Still -

“I do,” said Blue. “What have you been thinking about it?”

“Well, I’ve been doing some research. Since the events of - since three years ago, the activity on our line has been much higher. Has your mom said anything about it?”

“Yeah, actually,” said Blue, surprised. “It’s one of the reasons I moved out. My - well, I was amplifying things to the point that no one in the house could focus on anything else. They didn’t ask me to leave per se, but I felt like it was time, you know?”

Gansey sounded pensive. “I think I do."

Blue nodded, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “Mom and Calla actually took a break from the business for a while. It was too - intense for them, I guess.”

“I understand why. Roger Malory - you remember him, right - has been working on a new dissertation surrounding the events of three years ago and the fallout that has ensued. He may be visiting in September for the equinox.”

“Ah. He’s still hanging in there, then.”

Blue could hear a smile in Gansey’s voice as he said, “Yes, quite. He’s asked about you often, you know.”

“Me?” Blue was taken aback. “Why?”

Gansey coughed delicately, and Blue wondered if he was blushing. “He was aware of, ahem, my regard for you back in school.”

His regard? What did that even mean? What did Blue  _ want _ it to mean? “It’s getting late,” she changed the subject. “I’d better go. Early shift tomorrow and all that.”

“When can I see you again?”

“We should do something out of the city,” Blue decided. “How do you feel about the beach?”

Gansey sputtered, and Blue had to hold back a giggle while he composed himself. “I - the beach. I haven’t been in some time. That sounds perfect.”

“Great. I’m off next Monday?”

“I’ll pick you up. 9?”

“Sounds good, Gansey.”

“Goodnight, Blue.”

“Goodnight.”

Blue felt herself anticipating her and Gansey’s upcoming beach day more than she would have expected. She started to ask herself why, then figured it might be better not to look into it after all. 

Instead, Sunday afternoon she called Adam to check in.

“Blue,” he greeted her warmly. “How’s it going.”

They caught up for a few minutes about recent events, then Blue asked the question that had been on her mind for weeks.

“How come you didn’t tell me you were still in touch with Gansey?”

“You didn’t ask?”

That was a bullshit excuse, and they both knew it.

Adam sighed. “I don’t know. I didn’t intentionally keep it secret, it just - never seemed like the right time to bring it up.”

“Oh. Well, he found me at work one day. Not on purpose. But we’ve been hanging out.”

“I know.”

This took Blue by surprise. “How do you - he told you. Of course.”

“Was it supposed to be a secret?” Adam’s tone was serious, but she could hear a laugh under the surface.

“I - no. Just, uh, trying to catch up, I guess.”

Adam said, “Cheer up. He’s really looking forward to your beach day tomorrow.”

This did not, in fact, cheer Blue up. “So you’ve talked to him recently.”

Adam did laugh, now. “Sure. Why is this such a big deal, Blue?”

“It’s not, it’s not, I’m just -”

“Blue, seriously calm down. I think Ronan’s going to hurt himself from rolling his eyes so hard at this conversation.”

“Screw you, Ronan.”

The reply came muffled from the background, “I’m trying.”

“You’d better get to bed, Blue,” said Adam. “Big day tomorrow and all that.”

Blue nearly growled. “Goodnight, Adam.”

In the morning the sky was a bright gray and the weather was warm. Blue wore a cut-up tank top, and sandals she had painted. She packed sandwiches for the two of them and her waterbottle.

Gansey was outside her apartment promptly at 9, and she did not give him the opportunity to come in. Tia was basically plastered to the window, trying to figure out who Blue’s mysterious day trip partner was, and Blue hopped into the car quickly.

“Drive,” she said.

“Hi,” said Gansey.

“ _ Drive _ ,” she said again, and he hit the gas.

Once they were on the highway, Blue started to relax. “This isn’t the Pig,” she said, almost accusingly. And it wasn’t. The gray Tacoma was probably the last thing she would have expected Gansey to drive.

“It’s the most eco-friendly truck,” he explained.  _ That _ made a little more sense.

The rest of the way to the beach was quiet, nearly an hour drive while NPR droned quietly in the background.

Gansey paid the park fee and they found a spot to leave the car (and Blue’s sandals) while they walked up the shore.

“I haven’t been here in years,” Gansey told her. “I didn’t realize how much I missed the sound of the waves.”

Blue smiled, shuffling her feet in the sand. “Me too.”

They walked about a mile, pointing out interesting rocks and possible seal sightings to each other, before Blue offered the sandwiches.

“Only if you want,” she tried to deflect, but Gansey seemed genuinely affected she had brought them.

They sat in the sand and ate sprouts and avocado and cucumbers. Blue took a sip from her waterbottle and noticed Gansey hadn’t brought his own.

“Where’s your waterbottle?” she asked.

“Oh, I uh, don’t have one,” Gansey admitted, and Blue snorted. He called himself ‘eco-friendly’ and didn’t even own a waterbottle?

She held hers out to him. “Well here, have some of mine.” He took the painted bottle gingerly and sipped it while Blue blushed and looked away.  _ He put his lips where mine were, _ she thought, then pinched herself hard.

Gansey had noticed. “What was that for?”

“You ever have an intrusive thought?” she asked him.

He nodded. “I do.”

She was surprised. Perfect Gansey, admitting his thoughts weren’t always pure. Then she supposed she needed to be less harsh on him. She knew him well enough to know he wasn’t perfect, and that the persona he put on for work wasn’t the real him.

“Do you want to walk more?” he asked.

She smiled and nodded, and they got up and continued down the beach. This time Blue had questions about his job.

“So like, the Speaker of the House. What if they weren’t born in America and then the Vice President and the President both perish horribly in a White House fire? Who would be the president then?”

“The president of the Senate,” Gansey answered promptly. (“So, Palpatine,” Blue replied under her breath.) “Also, how did the White House catch on fire and how did it spread that fast? It has a very efficient fire suppression system.”

“It could be fire-bombed during a war,” Blue said.

“It’s a no-flyover zone. Anyone who gets near the airspace is shot down.”

“That’s baloney. There are flights in and out of DC all the time.”

They continued arguing in this manner for at least another two miles, before Gansey suggested that it was well into the afternoon by now and they might want to turn back.

The walk back was quieter - less talking and joking. After several minutes of silence Blue felt something brush her hand, and she looked down to see none other than Gansey’s hand. She wondered if it was intentional. She wondered if she wanted it to be.

She did not have to wonder much longer. A couple minutes after the first touch, Gansey took her hand gently in his and kept it there as they walked.

To Blue’s surprise, it was less awkward and more comfortable than she would have expected. They fell into a rhythm together, not talking, just swinging their hands lightly and listening to the ocean.

Blue was disappointed when they arrived back at the truck and he let go. She was about to address what had happened when she noticed the look on Gansey’s face and traced it back to its source.

There was a man with a camera taking pictures of Gansey’s truck.

“What -” Blue began, but Gansey motioned for her to stop.

“Senator Gansey! Smile!” the man exclaimed as he noticed the two of them. He raised up his camera and started to focus it on Gansey.

Gansey then did something very un-Gansey like and flipped off the camera man. “Get out of here,” he said harshly.

“That’s no way to be in front of your girlfriend,” the man pouted, then focused on Blue. “Come on, little lady! Smile for the camera!”

Blue was about to stomp over and knock the guy’s lights out, but Gansey stilled her with an arm outstretched. “Get in the car, please,” he said, sounding as though he were trying to remain calm.

Blue hopped into the truck and Gansey went up to the man with the camera and said something quiet, that she couldn’t hear, then saw him hand the man cash. He returned to the truck with a sour expression.

“Paparazzi? Really?” asked Blue.

“I’m afraid so,” Gansey said. “They don’t often hassle me, but every once in a while one finds me.”

Blue opened her mouth to ask why he had paid the man, then shut it. He probably didn’t want him to use the photos with her in them. 

Because he was ashamed to be seen with her.

The drive back to the city was long and silent.

  
  


CHAPTER III - JULY

Blue didn’t hear from Gansey for a long time after that.

She figured, if he had wanted to get in touch with her, he knew where she was. And he clearly did not want to get in touch, or he would have already. And speaking of touch…

They had held hands on the beach. ( _ Where no one could see, _ the cynic in Blue thought.) And she had...kind of liked it. Ugh. Which made the radio silence on his end all the more frustrating.

Blue was at the Daily Grind one morning, making a latte when the bell over the door rang, signaling a customer’s entrance. She turned around.

“Helen?”

“Hey, sugar,” Helen Gansey greeted Blue warmly. “How’ve you been?”

Blue came around the counter to hug her. “Honestly? Have been better.”

Helen smiled. “Interesting. I was just talking to someone else who gave me the exact same answer.”

Blue raised her eyebrows. “Really? I’m surprised.”

“Being America’s youngest senator - and a legacy at that - isn’t all it’s made up to be.”

“I doubt that. What does that golden boy want that he doesn’t already have?”

Helen gave Blue a very pointed look, making her blush.

“You haven’t been in touch with him recently, have you,” said Helen.

Blue felt her expression grow tight. “He made it pretty clear he didn’t want to be seen with me anymore.”

This time Helen raised an eyebrow. “That so, huh?”

Blue sighed and looked away. She wished Helen had never come here. It was great to see her and all, but it brought up too many feelings.

Helen looked around the empty cafe. “Tell you what. Close this place up, and we’ll go for a ride.”

“Now? It’s almost the end of the day, and….” Blue trailed off. There was no good reason why she  _ couldn’t _ . Besides it being against company policy and all. YOLO, though, right? “I’ll get my bag.”

1000 feet above Virginia, Blue felt her anxiety start to drift away. Helen was pointing out interesting features and talking about something-or-other over the headset as they flew further south.

Something below caught Blue’s eye - a blackened slash against the otherwise green countryside. “What’s that?” she asked Helen.

Helen looked down. Her brow furrowed. “I don’t know. That wasn’t there last week.”

Blue felt worry and curiosity rise up inside her in equal measure. Somehow she knew - it was the ley line. 

She had to tell Gansey.

Helen was looking over at her. “So, why haven’t you called my brother?”

“Why hasn’t  _ he  _ called  _ me _ ?”

Helen flipped a few switches, and the helicopter swung around, heading back toward the city. “He thinks you don’t want to see him anymore.”

Blue was indignant. “What? I never said anything like that.”

Helen shrugged. “Well, I don’t know where he got that idea. He wouldn’t tell me.”

“If he thinks I don’t want to see him anymore, how come you’re telling me to call him?”

“Duh. You obviously want to.” Helen smirked.

Blue shook her head. “Uh-uh. It doesn’t matter what I feel. He clearly didn’t want to be seen with me.”

“What does that even mean?”

So Blue explained what had happened at the beach (leaving out the holding hands part. That was something she wasn’t ready to process with other people yet).

“You’re dumb,” said Helen.

  
“Screw you,” said Blue.

Helen shook her head. “He’s not embarrassed to be seen with  _ you _ . He thinks  _ you’re _ embarrassed to be seen with him.”

Blue’s eyebrows shot straight up into her hairline. “Explain.”

“He hates the paparazzi. Hates the notoriety, hates the publicity that came with his job. He doesn’t want to subject you to that. He likes you too much.”

Blue turned pink. “Yeah? Then why did he pay the guy not to run the photos?”

“Oh, Blue. He’s trying to respect your privacy. He knows how you feel about that whole world.”

Blue hung her head. Sweet Gansey. She really needed to call him.

They landed just outside the city, and Helen gave Blue a ride back to her apartment.

“I mean it,” Helen told Blue sternly as they parted. “ _ Call him _ .”

Blue went inside and went upstairs. She checked her phone - a text from her boss saying she was going to be written up for leaving early. She sighed.

Gansey answered on the first ring. “Blue,” he said. “I -”

“I’m sorry,” Blue said before he could go on. “I should have called sooner.”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Gansey. “I’m glad you did at all.”

“I really liked walking on the beach with you,” Blue told him.

His voice was warm. “I really liked walking on the beach with you, too.”

“Do you - would you want to get ice cream later?”

The reply was immediate. “Yes.”

They made plans to meet at the gelato shop near Blue’s apartment and hung up.

Blue fussed with her hair clips and found a green sundress in her closet to wear, then changed into bike shorts, then overalls, then back into the green sundress. By the time she was ready, she was already late.

“Sorry,” she apologized, walking up to where Gansey stood outside the shop. “I lost track of time, and -” Blue trailed off at Gansey’s expression looking at her. It was - soft, she decided. And maybe something else she wasn’t ready to unpack.

“I like your dress,” he said quietly.

“Thanks.”

They got their ice cream and walked around the neighborhood with it. “So,” said Gansey. “Why now?”

“Why now what?”   
  


“Why’d you pick now to call?”

Blue smiled. “Oh. I had some wisdom dropped on me this afternoon. I felt like it had been too long since we’d seen each other.”

Gansey looked suspicious. “Wisdom? Dropped on you? That sounds like someone meddling.”

“And I bet you can guess who.”

He sighed. “Helen.”

Blue nodded.

“I suppose I should thank her, then,” he said drily. “I was beginning to think I wouldn’t see you again.”

“Gansey, please - you have to know that any girl would be lucky to be seen with you.”

“But not you.”

She shook her head. “Especially me.”

His face registered surprise, head jerking in her direction.

“What I mean to say, is - I - I like  _ you _ , Gansey. If that’s what your world is, that’s what it is. It doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t have to dictate your life.”

Gansey was pensive. “But it’s not a world you’re comfortable with.”

“No,” said Blue. “But if it means I get to hang out with you, I’ll stomach it.”

His smile reached nearly to his ears. “Blue, I’m positively tickled to hear you say that.”

She rolled her eyes. Corny as ever.

It was starting to get dark, and Blue looked up to see they were on her street. 

“Do you want to come up?” she asked him, heart pounding in her chest. Were they even there yet?   
  


“I’d love to,” Gansey said, and Blue’s already hammering heart doubled its pace. “But not tonight. I have an early morning tomorrow, and….”

He trailed off, and neither Blue nor Gansey could make eye contact. Was he implying what she thought - that if he came in, they’d be up late? Doing….what? God, she couldn’t think about this with him in front of her.

“No problem,” she said, turning away. “I’ll see you soon, OK?”

“Sounds good,” he said. “Oh, and Blue?”

She turned. “Yeah?”

Gansey smiled. “Goodnight.”

  
  


CHAPTER IV - AUGUST

The heat of the city got to be just too much in August, and Blue decided she deserved a few days off (after clearing it with her manager first, of course). She packed a backpack and took a bus to Henrietta.

From 300 Fox Way - where her appearance was met with mixed reactions - she called Adam.

“Hey,” he answered.

“Sup,” said Blue. “I’m in Henrietta.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so? Come on out to the Barns.”

“I don’t have a ride,” she told him.

“I’ll send my driver,” Adam laughed. “See you in an hour.”

57 minutes and one harrowing BMW ride later Blue was hugging Adam and saying hi to Opal, while thanking Ronan for picking her up.

“So,” Adam said once they were settled in with some lemonade under a tree. “Spill. What’s going on with you and Gansey?”

“I - nothing. Why? Did he say something?” Blue immediately realized how thirsty she sounded and cringed inwardly.

Ronan and Adam both laughed. 

“No,” said Ronan.

“Yes,” said Adam at the same time.

Opal chewed on a tin can.

“Ugh,” said Blue. “Fine. We’ve been hanging out a little bit.”

“We know,” said Adam.

“We don’t care,” said Ronan.

Opal continued chewing the can.

“We do care,” said Adam. “Well, I do anyway. He said you invited him up to your room.” Adam wiggled his eyebrows.

“It’s not like that,” insisted Blue.

“Isn’t it, though,” said Ronan.

“Fine. Maybe it is,” Blue conceded. “What did he say about it?”

Adam looked thoughtful. “I’m going to ask you a question, Blue, and I want you to not get mad.”

“No promises.”

He laughed. “Have you told Gansey about the prophecy?”

Of all the things she thought Adam was going to say, that was not one of them. Why would she tell Gansey about the prophecy? Did she want to kiss him? Did that mean -

“Hold up,” she said. “We’ve been hanging out. No one said anything about true love.”

“No one had to,” said Ronan sardonically. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“Will someone please just tell me what he said?” Blue was getting frustrated.

“He said he likes you, more than you like him,” Opal said at last.

Blue sat with that for a while, as Ronan swore at Opal for giving up Gansey secrets and Adam looked at Blue.

“Likes me like,  _ likes _ me?” Blue asked after a time, but Opal - nor Ronan or Adam - was not willing to give up any more.

“You should ask him, not us,” said Adam, and wouldn’t say any more on the matter.

They spent the rest of the afternoon swimming and visiting Ronan’s newest dream-creations. It was starting to get dark a little earlier now, and by 9 they were all tucked into their respective beds. 

But Blue’s room was next to Adam and Ronan’s, and just as she had closed her eyes, she heard Adam’s phone going off.

“Hello?” She could hear him clearly through the thin wall. “Not too much,” he answered to whatever the person on the other end had said. “Yeah, she’s here.”

Ah. So it was Gansey. Rationally, Blue knew eavesdropping was wrong. But practically? She was about to listen the shit out of  _ this _ conversation.

There were a few moments of silence, and then -

“No dude. Tell her yourself.” Pause. “I get that.” Pause again. “Well, if you weren’t both so stubborn this would be a lot easier.”

_ What _ would be a lot easier? Blue was dying to know.

Adam had started talking again. “It’s fine with me.” Pause. Muffled sentence, presumably to Ronan. “OK, you too. Bye.”

Blue would have given her left arm to know what was said on the other end.

By god, she was thirsty. For  _ Gansey _ , of all people. If she had told her high school self this, 17-year-old Blue would have slapped her silly.

But if 18-year-old Blue - who had a bit of a thing for Gansey herself - had been there, she would have understood.  _ That  _ Blue would have encouraged today Blue to be brave.

She texted him,  _ Hey _

The response was instant.

_ Hi. I heard you’re at the Barns. How are things? _

_ things r … good. nice to be here u know _

_ Yes, I can imagine. It’s been some time since I was there. _

She wondered…. _ why dont u come visit _

_ I’d love to. _ (There was that “I’d love to” again. So misleading.)  _ But it’s the middle of the week, and I’m needed at work _ .

_ im pouting. i hope u know that _

That was kind of a risky message. She waited with baited breath for the response, and then -

_ I don’t believe you. Send a pic? _

Oh boy. Her heart started to race. She turned on the lamp by the bed and snapped a pic of her best unhappy pout, then sent it off before she could second guess herself.

_ Very cute. 10 out of 10, would give in. _

Did - did Gansey just call her cute? Shit.

_ why thank u good sir _

The wall separating her and the boys’ room resonated as if it had been punched. “Jesus Christ go the fuck to bed, maggot,” came Ronan’s voice.

_ i gotta go. angry hall monitor is angry _

  1. _ Sleep well Blue_

Was she disappointed that he wasn’t coming to visit? Yeah, maybe a little. It would have been so awkward though. Like, where would he even sleep? In her room? Why was she presuming that at all? There were like 5 other bedrooms.

Blue shook her head as she turned out the light. Maybe it was time to finally admit that she like, liked Gansey. Like that.

Ronan brought her back to 300 Fox Way the next morning. They didn’t speak much during the car ride, but as they pulled into the driveway, he looked over at her. 

“Maggot,” he said.

“What.”

“I’m serious,” he said. “And I’m only going to say this once.”

Blue was apprehensive. “Yeah?”

“Don’t hurt him,” said Ronan. “And don’t let him hurt you.” Blue realized he was talking about Gansey and her, and that he was worried equally about both of them. She was touched.

“Thanks, Ronan.”

“Later, maggot.”

Once inside, Maura gathered Blue into a hug, and Artemus shook her hand awkwardly. 

“The city’s agreeing with you,” said Maura. “You look happy.”

“I guess I am,” said Blue.

“I’m glad you got away from here for a while,” Maura told Blue. “You needed a break from this place. A break from those Raven Boys,” she said.

“Uh, yeah,” agreed Blue, knowing she was lying.

Maura looked suspicious for a moment, then her face cleared. “Come see what we did,” she said, and led Blue to the backyard.

There was a new tree that Blue hadn’t seen since her last visit.

“It’s for Persephone,” said Maura. “It’s a pomegranate tree.”

Blue felt her cheeks grow hot and her eyes burn. “It’s nice,” she managed.

Maura looked over at her, and seemed to understand. “I know,” she told Blue. “It certainly hasn’t been easy.”

The bus ride back to the city the next day felt endless. Blue couldn’t stop thinking about Ronan’s warning. Was she going to hurt Gansey?

Well, if he was her true love, the answer was probably yes.

  
  


CHAPTER V - SEPTEMBER

“Catch,” Blue called down to Gansey from the top of the ladder.

They were in Maryland once again, this time apple picking. Blue had rolled her eyes at the idea initially, feeling privately as though it was something washed-up couples did together when they had no date ideas left. But being out there in the still-warm air, tasting every other apple and throwing them at Gansey when he made a bad joke, she had to admit - those washed up couples were on to something.

Gansey was biting into a particularly red apple, the juice running down his chin and dripping onto his salmon polo. “Mmm,” he said, closing his eyes, and Blue had to turn away.

She was so, so into him at this point, and OK with admitting that (to herself). Blue knew she would have to tell him at some point - Adam had insisted, as had Helen - and she wanted to get it off her chest. But every time they hung out, she fell a little bit deeper, and got a little bit closer to the words she was afraid of.

True love.

The prophecy started to loom over Blue like a full moon, bright and heavy and low on the horizon. She began avoiding Orla whenever she came around, and dodging calls from her mother.

“What are we doing with these apples?” Gansey asked, pulling Blue back to earth.

“Hmmm - we could make a pie?”

Gansey nodded. “That’s perfect. Want to come over to mine?”

Blue had never been to the Ganseys DC apartment, though she could imagine what it was like. “Sure,” she agreed hesitantly.

They drove in the Tacoma with their apples to a nice neighborhood, populated by rows of well-kept brick townhomes. Gansey parked in the driveway behind a gold Lexus SUV.

“I see your mother is home,” Blue said, trying to sound casual.

“Yes, we’re not in session today. I thought she was going out to the farmer’s market but she must be back.”

Gansey led Blue up the driveway to a back staircase that led to a large deck overlooking a tiny backyard, and beyond that someone else’s deck and tiny backyard. The area was decorated by little lights strung everywhere, and Mr. Gansey was seated at a wooden table.

“Blue!” He greeted her like an old friend, even though they had only met once years ago, and it hadn’t ended well. “How have you been?”

“I’m well,” said Blue. “How -”

“No time for pleasantries, sorry,” Gansey cut in. “We’re on a mission.”

“Good to see you!” Mr. Gansey called after them as they went in the back door to the kitchen.

The house wasn’t very big, but the kitchen was large and well-stocked. Blue could tell just by looking those were some expensive countertops.

Gansey got her a knife and cutting board, and set about the kitchen gathering ingredients while Blue sliced the apples. He hummed as he set cinnamon and flour and a mixing bowl on the island.

“Richard, whatever are you - oh, hello,” Mrs. Senator Gansey entered the room, smelling of lavender.

“Hi, Mrs. Senator Gansey,” Blue said timidly.

Mrs. Senator Gansey nodded graciously, and Blue wasn’t sure if Gansey’s mom knew who she was or not.

“We’re baking an apple pie,” said Gansey, a little defensively. “The apples are fresh from the orchard in Germantown.”

“How….quaint,” Mrs. Senator Gansey managed. “I’ll leave you to it. Richard, I’ve left Congressman Welles’ bill for you to look at on your desk.”

“Thank you, mother,” said Gansey, and gave her a pointed look.

“Right, right, I’ll be going now,” she said breezily, leaving the kitchen. “Look over that bill, Richard!” she called from the hallway.

Blue looked slyly at Gansey while slicing. “So, Richard….”

He groaned. “Don’t, Blue.”

She smiled. “Sorry. I’m just teasing.”

“I know. It just - never mind. Hey, are you done with those apples? I need your help rolling out the crust.”

They worked together for a while longer until the pie was ready to be put in the oven. It wasn’t going to win any prizes at the Rotary Club Auxiliary, but it was a nice little pie for two novices.

“Well, now we have 50 minutes,” said Gansey. “We could watch TV or something if you want.”

“Sure,” said Blue, following him upstairs. Wait, living rooms are usually downstairs. Did that mean they were going to -

“This is my room,” said Gansey, a little breathlessly.

It was neat, with a wood bed made up with a white and navy bedspread and a little wood desk and chair. It was nothing like his room at Monmouth Manufacturing, and Blue said so.

“I know,” said Gansey. “This is my parent-designed room.”

He walked over to the desk. “I still have my paperwork, though.”

He opened drawers and brought out a bulletin board from behind to reveal maps, photos, newspaper articles, and handwritten notes.

“That’s more like it,” Blue said. She crossed the room and joined him by the board. “Are you still studying the ley lines?”

“I am,” he told her.

“I meant to talk to you about that,” Blue remembered. “When I went up with Helen -”

“Wait, Helen took you flying for your conversation?”

Blue nodded.

“Hmmm. OK, go on.”

“We went south, and we could see - there was a huge slash across the earth. It looked blackened, almost burnt. And I think it was along the ley line.”

Gansey’s eyes were wide. “I’ll have to look into it. I don’t know why something like that hasn’t been reported yet, unless -” He trailed off.

“Unless what?”

“Unless it only was visible from above - and only at the time you saw it.”

“Gansey, what does that even mean.”

“I’ve read about something like this. When ley lines are strengthening, they can appear dark and pronounced if viewed from above at noon. I’ve only heard of it in Peru, though.” He looked deep in thought.

“Well, it happened here. You can ask Helen, too.”

That seemed to ground him. “Why would I ask Helen? Of course I believe you.” Gansey met her eyes, and Blue flushed a little bit.

He sat down on the desk chair. “Sit,” he told Blue. “We have to figure this out.” She looked around. There was no other chair. Just -

Absently Gansey gestured toward the bed, already looking for something on his bookshelf.

Blue flushed a little bit more. Gingerly, she sat on the edge of the bed.

Gansey passed her a falling apart textbook on ritual customs in early Peru. “See if you can find anything in this,” he said, pulling a laptop from the desk drawer and setting it up.

Blue started reading. The material was pretty dry, and didn’t seem too relevant to what they were looking for. After a few minutes, she made herself more comfortable on the bed and tucked her legs under her. Soon, she was reclining against Gansey’s pillow. And after another couple minutes, her eyes slowly closed.

The next thing Blue knew, darkness filtered in through the window and shadowed the room, save for the light of Gansey’s laptop glowing like a beacon.

“Did I - Oh god, I am so sorry Gansey.”

He turned to her, and she could see his gentle smile in the laptop light. “Don’t worry about it.”

She was mortified, though. His pillow smelled like him and everything, and it was so comfy, and she had been so tired….Blue sat up fast. “I have to get going.”

“Why?”

“I - what?”

Gansey reached over and turned on a soft lamp. “Why leave? You can keep sleeping if you want.”

“Where are you going to sleep?” Blue blurted out.

Gansey scratched at the back of his head. “I, uh - I’ll stay on the floor.”

“Uh-uh,” said Blue, shaking her head. “It’s your own house. You should take the bed.”

“We could -” Gansey started nervously, and Blue knew what he was about to say. And what would happen if she said yes.

“I’m good,” she told him. “I’ll catch the bus home. Thanks for - oh! The pie!”

Gansey smiled. “I took it out hours ago. There’s half in a dish for you to take home.”

He walked her downstairs, and to the end of the street where the bus stop was.

“Hey Blue?” he said tentatively as they waited for her bus.

“What’s up?”

“Could you - would you stay over another time, maybe?”

Blue held her breath a moment. Should she?

“I - I think so,” she told him.

He grinned widely. “Excellent.”

  
  


CHAPTER VI - OCTOBER

The air started to chill, and Blue and Gansey were heating up.

She was at his house on a Wednesday afternoon, casually lounging on the bed while Gansey pored over a book on his desk. Blue was browsing sites on his laptop, looking for any pertinent information to their ley line. As she clicked through pages, one news article caught her eye.

“Gansey. Take a look at this,” she told him, passing him the computer.

He read out loud, processing the information. “A black slash has appeared in Nicaragua. The mark is only seen from above, and seems to follow a set path. Blue,” he said, looking up at her with bright eyes. “This is a ley line. Like ours.”

“That’s what I thought. We can’t exactly pop down to Nicaragua to investigate, though.”

Gansey was quizzical. “Why not?”

“Because - I mean - people don’t just  _ go _ to Nicaragua! On a hunch!” Blue sputtered.

But Gansey wasn’t listening. He was already on Priceline or whatever booking plane tickets for the week of Thanksgiving.

“Oh, my god. Gansey. I can’t just like, not go to work, up and leave the country, I mean -” Blue was still protesting. This felt like such a rich person thing to do, decide you want to go somewhere and then just go.

Blue had never even been out of the country.

“Do you have a passport?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I’ll take care of it. Just ask for the week off, OK? You deserve a vacation.” He was smiling now.

Blue couldn’t help but smile too. Nicaragua. Just the two of them. Damn.

At work the next morning, Blue approached her manager about the days off.

“Jean, I was wondering - is there any possible way I could get the week of Thanksgiving off?”

Jean turned around, and Blue could now see what she was holding - one of those local tabloid newspapers. And the page she was on featured a picture of none other than Gansey and Blue herself.

“Big plans?” Jean smirked at her.

“I - you could say that,” said Blue. She wasn’t quite sure how to read the situation.

Jean looked back at the picture, then back at Blue, as if sizing her up.

“Sure, Blue. But I want doubles all next week, deal?”

Blue breathed out, a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. “Thank you. Definitely. Thanks so much.”

And so it was set. Blue and Gansey were going to Nicaragua.

“Nicaragua?” Maura squawked that night as they talked on the phone. “Isn’t that - yes, that’s what Artemus said, isn’t it dangerous to go there?”

“It’s not,” Blue explained. “And I won’t be going alone. Gansey will be there too.”

“Gansey? One of those Raven Boys? Blue, I thought you were over them a long time ago.”

“It’s - I was. Maybe. But we’re friends again.” Blue treaded lightly, but to no avail.

“Mm-hmm. I presume you haven’t forgotten a certain prophecy about him?”

Blue was embarrassed. “Maura! You don’t even know it’s about him. It’s about me.”

“OK, Blue. I’m not going to say I told you so, when the time comes. But I won’t see you get hurt over a boy.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means, you’re not going to Nicaragua with him. You should probably stop seeing him altogether.”

“Newsflash, Maura. I’m 21. Not a teenager anymore. You can’t tell me what to do.” And with that very teenager-like statement, Blue hung up the phone on her mother.

As soon as she flopped down on her bed, her phone buzzed with a text.

_ Hi. Were you able to get the time off? _

Ah, Gansey. The subject of said trouble.

_ ya _

_ Excellent! I’m looking forward to this. _

Blue sighed.  _ me 2 _

The next few weeks were filled with work mostly, the promised double shifts taking up the majority of Blue’s time. She looked down at her buzzing phone late one afternoon while walking home and was surprised to see Adam’s contact info flashing on the screen.

“Adam?”

“Blue, hi. How’s it going?”

“Not too bad. How are you? Is everything OK?” She didn’t want to seem rude, but it was rare that she talked to Adam while he was at school, mostly calling when he was with Ronan during breaks.

“It’s - yeah. Everything is fine. Are you and Gansey going to Nicaragua together?” He sounded incredulous.

Blue chose her words carefully. “Um. Yeah, we are. To investigate a ley line.”

Adam laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Sure. OK.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just worried. About both of you,” Adam said. “That you’re both going to get hurt.”

“Have you had this conversation with Gansey?” Blue asked.

Adam hesitated. “Sort of,” he said.

Blue was suspicious. “And what does that mean?”

“Look, Blue. Let’s be honest. I told Gansey to be careful with your feelings, but you need to be careful….um, physically.”

Oh. The prophecy again. “I just can’t tell him about it, Adam. Not when -”

“It’s OK. You don’t have to say it. Just - we lost him once already. I’m not sure I could handle that again, you know?”

She sighed. “I know. And I promise I’ll talk to him about it - soon.”

Adam talked to her for a few more minutes, until she was at the front door of the apartment. She said goodbye to him, hung up, and opened the door.

It wasn’t unusual for Orla to be in the kitchen when Blue got home from work, but it was a surprise for her to greet Blue warmly and offer a cup of tea.

Blue warily accepted, making awkward small talk for a few minutes with Orla while they drank. The ulterior motive was revealed when Orla grabbed Blue’s cup after she had finished.

“Let me read your leaves,” Orla offered, but it didn’t seem like an offer Blue could refuse. Orla studied the bottom of the cup for several moments, and then -

“You’ve been seeing that Gansey,” Orla said.

“Maura could’ve told you that,” Blue defended, even though she knew Orla had a psychic gift. Orla ignored her and went on.

“I see….water.”

Blue snorted. “It’s called leftover tea, genius.” She wasn’t sure why she was being so cynical. If were being introspective (which she adamantly wasn’t), she might think it had something to do with her not wanting to know what Orla could possibly reveal.

“A specter is stalking you.” Annnnnd there it was.

“OK, thanks Orla. I think we’re done here.”

“Sorry Blue, I didn’t mean, like,  _ you _ were going to die. I meant -”

Blue grabbed the cup away from Orla and put it in the sink. “I know what you meant. I don’t need to hear any more.”

“Whatever,” Orla rolled her eyes. “Just trying to help.”

Upstairs in her room Blue put on loud music through her headphones, and lit a couple of candles in jars. She layed down on the bed and pulled out her phone. Missed text from Gansey.

_ Hi Blue. I know it’s been a few days. Are we still on for Nicaragua? _

_ hey. sorry just been really busy with work n shit still looking forward to the trip tho _

She sighed heavily and closed her eyes for a moment. Was she making the right decision by choosing Gansey over, well, reason? Her phone buzzed again.

_ I missed you these past weeks _

Damn.

_ me too haha _

Blue felt her reply was too brief, too flippant, and she worried it would turn him away. But Gansey was persistent.

_ What are you doing? _

_ just relaxing right now n listening to music _

And because she was feeling bold, and maybe a bit flirtatious, and worried he would turn away from her, she decided she would send him a pic to go with. She was wearing earrings with long feathers and a tank top with overalls, and her hair was loose; she held the phone out in front of her, bit her lip, snapped the shot and hit send.

He responded quickly.

_ Wow. You look….incredible, Blue. _

_ jeez gans u really know how to compliment a girl _

_ I mean it Blue. I’m sure you know how beautiful you are. _

By this point Blue was practically fanning herself. Did he really think that? Feel that way? Or was he just being nice? If there was anyone in the world too nice to tell a girl coming on to him that he didn’t actually like her, it would be Gansey. And Blue being Blue, she decided to go with the sarcastic response.

_ lol OK _

He took a few minutes to respond, and Blue became convinced that she had definitely said the wrong thing. When he finally did text back, it was with a changed subject.

_ I got your passport in, so we’re all set there _ .

_ doesnt that usually take like months _

_ Blue, I work for the government. I have ways. _

Oh. Right. She was hoping his tone sounded a little more jovial, and that he was maybe even teasing a little bit.

_ well i think its time to hit the hay _

She paused, then sent another.

_ wish u were here _

Blue held her breath, waiting for Gansey’s response.

_ Dream of me _

_ That  _ was uncharacteristic for Gansey, and yet it seemed perfect for who they were and everything they’d been through. She sent one more text before extinguishing her candles and turning off the light.

_ always _

  
  


CHAPTER VII - NOVEMBER

“Hurry up Gansey, we’re going to miss the flight!” Blue called over her shoulder as Gansey pulled his bag out of the back of the Uber.

Gansey smiled at her as they walked through the airport’s automatic double doors.

“Relax. We have a high level security clearance. TSA won’t bother us at all.”

Blue stopped and looked at him, eyes bugging out of her head. “Um, we have a what now?”

Gansey smirked. “Haven’t you ever traveled with a legislator before?”

She punched him in the shoulder. “You know I haven’t.”

“Well, let’s just say we can skip the lines.”

Blue was bouncing out of her seat on the plane. She had brought paper and some pencils to draw during the flight, but she was so excited by looking out the window that Gansey switched seats with her.

Soon, however, she was asleep with her head on Gansey’s shoulder and the next thing she knew, he was gently shaking her awake.

“Blue,” he said softly into her hair. “We’re here.”

Managua was a whirlwind unlike anything Blue had ever experienced - the churches, the markets, the people - her head was spinning in the humid air.

They left the airport for downtown and walked among the thousands of Nicaraguans and tourists that were in the streets, calling taxis and old friends, buying vegetables and electronics, offering haircuts and food. Blue’s stomach was rumbling, and she looked at Gansey.

“I’m hungry,” she told him.

They stopped at a cafe and had eggs and beans and plantains. Gansey was sweating under the wide brim of his hat as he paid and made conversation with restaurant owners in Spanish.

“I didn’t even know you spoke Spanish,” Blue commented as they left the cafe.

“Some,” said Gansey. “It’s come in handy every now and then.”

After more walking they arrived at their destination - the old cathedral.

“Why here?” Blue asked.

“The line,” Gansey answered vaguely. “Do you have your paper and pencil?”

She took out the drawing supplies, and waited while Gansey sketched a rough map of North America.

“That’s our line,” he pointed out, and Blue could clearly see it.

Something didn’t like right about the lines closer to where they were currently though.

“Why is it a circle?” she asked, and Gansey’s eyes gleamed.

“Exactly. Why indeed. This circle of energy - very similar to a ley line, if not the same thing - appears on every magnetic map of North America I’ve come across. And the black mark followed on this circle.”

“But why here? This place looks abandoned,” said Blue.

“It is abandoned, because of the earthquakes that keep happening here - and running along the ley line. The line runs right under our feet.”

They looked around for a little bit, and then something struck Blue.

“We can’t see the black mark.”

“Right. And we didn’t see it flying in, either. I’m thinking the energy in this spot has dissipated for now. I’ll take an EMF reading to be sure, though.”

While Gansey fiddled with his instruments, Blue wandered around the cathedral square. A sign shop down a side street caught her eye -  _ Psíquica. _

As she was trying to decipher what the rest of the sign said, a woman came outside.

“¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?”

Blue wasn’t sure what she was saying, but the woman definitely sounded angry.

“Sorry, I’m -”

This only seemed to enrage the woman more, and she grabbed a broom from inside the door as though to scare Blue away like she was a flock of pigeons. Luckily, Gansey came around the corner at that moment.

“Blue, there you are, I - Oh! ¿Cómo está usted, señora?”

“Quiero el espejo afuera, y tu tambien. Ustedes dos están condenados. Ahorita, señor!”

“Espero que tengas un buen día,” Gansey told the woman, and put a hand on Blue’s back to guide her away.

“Um, what was that about?” Blue asked when they were on the next street.

“I think - well, I believe she recognized you as an amplifier,” Gansey told her. “Fascinating, though. I guess she is the real deal.”

Gansey still seemed bothered, though.

“You’re not telling me everything. What else did she say?”

Gansey pulled out his phone and typed something into the translator. He paused.

“She called us both doomed.”

By this point it was late afternoon, and Gansey led them to a bus stop. They climbed aboard and sat next to each other. Blue looked across the aisle and noticed that some passengers were traveling with livestock, chickens and geese.

“Uh, Gansey? What’s with the poultry?”

He smiled. “This is the chicken bus. Less expensive, more authentic, and in some cases safer than a taxi.”

She shrugged. Who was she to say anything?

After a few hours, as the sun was going down, the bus dropped them in a small town. Blue could smell the salt in the air and knew they must be by the beach. They walked another half hour up a small hill before arriving at a sign reading PEACEFUL OCEAN ECO-LODGE.

“This is it,” said Gansey. The property was spread out in a micro-valley below them - several small cinder block buildings and a central area covered by palm leaves, next to a sprawling but well organized garden.

“I love it,” Blue breathed, and as they stepped down onto the property, she realized something else.

“I can see the ocean!”

Gansey grinned. “We’ll go to the beach tomorrow. For now, let’s check in and get settled. I’m exhausted.”

A man who looked suspiciously familiar came out of the central area, which Blue could now see was a bar.

“Gansey-boy!”

Well. Of all the people in the world, Blue did not expect Henry Cheng to be here in Nicaragua. 

“And beautiful Blue! What a surprise! Gansey, you dog!”

Blue’s head whipped around to look at Gansey. “What is going on,” she hissed.

Gansey just kept smiling. “It’s great to see you, Henry.”

“I have so many questions! But, let me show you to your room.”

Did he say room, singular?

Still in a bit of shock, Blue followed Gansey and Henry to one of the smaller buildings. Henry flipped on the light and Blue looked around.

The floor was concrete and bright tapestries decorated the walls as well as twinkle lights. It was, she decided, a bit like her room in Virginia. And she could definitely get into it.

The next thing that troubled her was only one bed, she noticed. Blue was starting to panic when Gansey said, “Thanks, Henry. We’ll catch up in the morning. For now, I’m just looking forward to laying in my hammock!”

And Blue noticed that on one side of the room was indeed a hammock hanging with a pillow in it. Henry left them, and Gansey strode over to the hammock and plopped down.

She giggled. “Are you going to sleep in your sun hat?”

He shook his head and looked at her as if sizing her up. “No, I suppose not. I’m going to get changed,” he told her.

Oh boy. “Me too,” she said. “In the - bathroom!” She could see the toilet in a small room attached to the main one and went in with her backpack to get changed.

Blue had possibly given this some thought while packing - what should she wear to sleep? She had guessed Gansey might see her in her pajamas, though she hadn’t really anticipated them sleeping in the same room.

Her packing self was definitely bolder than her Nicaragua self, she decided. 

“You alright?” Gansey called through the door and Blue realized she had been in the bathroom for quite some time.

“Yeah,” she called back, and changed into the pajamas she had brought. She wore a velvet tank top - no bra, though she didn’t really need one anyway - and shorts with elephants on them and little pom poms on the bottom. Shyly, she came around the corner of the bathroom door.

Gansey was standing there in a plain white shirt and basketball-type shorts. He stared at her for a few seconds, mouth slightly open, then took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes.

“OK. OK, well, um, good night, Blue,” he said hesitantly, then turned and rolled up in the hammock.

Blue smiled and shut off the light, then got into the bed. In seconds, she was asleep.

She woke up once, in the middle of the night, hearing a sound she didn’t recognize. It sounded like muffled talking. Upon further inspection, she determined it was Gansey, talking in his sleep.

“Blue….please….”

Whoa. He was talking about her. To her? Should she say something? Before she could decide, he continued.

“Oh god, Blue, please - I -”

He didn’t sound agitated, at all though. On the contrary, Blue thought he almost seemed - excited? She turned red in the darkness.

“Yes, Blue….” he moaned.

Mother of god. Blue turned over. She would figure this out in the morning.

But in the morning, little had become clear. Gansey was not making eye contact with her and only speaking in short, clipped sentences. She felt like she had done something wrong, and she asked him if she had.

“Of course not, Blue,” he said soothingly, meeting her gaze for the first time since they woke up. “Just my own stuff going on, that’s all.”

After breakfast Henry Cheng came out and sat with them at the bar area for a while, making them smoothies and being his generally charming yet slightly over the top self.

“I didn’t even know you guys still talked to each other,” Blue told them.

Henry grinned. “Girl, who do you think paid for Dick-three’s campaign?”

Gansey turned bright pink at this. “Not all of it, Henry.”

Blue rolled her eyes. Of course it was about money. It always seemed to come back to that. For a moment, it struck her very heavily that she was only here in Nicaragua on Gansey’s dime.

He seemed to sense this, and grabbed her hand under the bar top, where Henry couldn’t see from the other side.

He really was very sweet, she thought.

Henry explained how after graduating he came down to Nicaragua for a semester abroad and loved it so much he stayed. He was very open about his parents funding the eco-lodge startup, but proudly informed Gansey and Blue that the business was now turning a decent profit.

They chatted a while longer - Henry wanted to know all about their lives and Adam and Ronan’s lives and the lives of everyone in their year at Aglionby that Gansey still talked to, which was surprisingly few.

Finally, Henry excused himself to take care of some other guests and Gansey looked over at Blue with twinkling eyes.

“Do you want to learn to surf?”

Surfing was not something Blue had ever considered as a possible activity for herself or anyone she knew.

“I - I guess?”

Gansey grinned widely, and the two of them walked the 45 minutes down to the beach.

The light sand and the bright waves took Blue’s breath away. She stood for a moment, gaping at the ocean, and when she turned to look back at Gansey, he was already looking at her, a curious expression on his face.

They rented surfboards and took a beginner’s lesson for about an hour, then headed out together to surf as best they could.

By the end of the day, Blue was an even darker complexion with more freckles than usual, and Gansey had a slight sunburn across his face and neck.

They had dinner at a little restaurant in downtown, then headed back up the hill to Henry’s place for the night.

They arrived to find music blaring out of the speakers over the bar and a number of people dancing boisterously in the central yard.

Henry came out from behind the bar to greet them. “Hey! You’re just in time for salsa night!”

“Salsa the dance or salsa the food?” Gansey asked.

“Both!”

So Gansey and Blue sat and had some chips and homemade salsa, and were about to call it a night when Henry came back out and said, “Why aren’t you dancing?”

Blue looked at Gansey. Gansey looked back at Blue, then said - “We’re about to.”

Henry grinned and showed his teeth and Gansey turned to Blue. “Shall we?”

Neither of them had ever salsa danced before in their lives. Blue kept stepping on Gansey’s feet, and they kept bumping into each other when trying to go in the wrong direction. But the heat of his hand on her back felt good - really good - and when he spun her once it felt like magic.

Finally around 11pm they moseyed off the dance floor and to their room. They went through the same ritual of changing separately as the last night, and both got into their beds and turned out the light.

It took Blue a long time to get to sleep though.

“Gansey?” she finally asked. “You up?”

His reply was immediate. “Yeah. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just - I don’t know.”

She could hear him moving around in the hammock, and then - “Are you all right?”

Blue took a deep breath. Bravery time. And also foolish Blue time. “Do you want to come over and sleep in the bed with me? It sucks that you have to be in a hammock, and -”

“Blue,” he interrupted. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” she breathed.

His steps were quiet crossing the room, then she felt the side of the bed sink under his weight.

“Good night, Gansey.”

“Good night, Blue.”

They fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed, but in the morning, Blue’s back was pressed against Gansey’s front. She could feel the slight pressure of him against her lower back, and felt the heat rise to her face.

Then Gansey shifted, still asleep, and his arm draped over her chest. Oh god. Blue thought she could get used to this.

He held her like that for another couple minutes before he woke up, and immediately retreated. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t be,” she told him. “I liked it.” And his eyes grew super wide.

The rest of the day was really a blur - she thought they visited a local orchid farm - as both Gansey and Blue were eagerly and nervously anticipating going to bed that night.

At last the time arrived. They changed separately, then Blue came out of the bathroom and noticed Gansey getting into the hammock.

“You can sleep in the bed again, if you want,” she said to him. Tentatively he came over and laid next to her, and she shut off the light.

They started out laying on the edges of the bed, then Blue began to shift and rearrange herself to get closer to Gansey.

At one point their shoulders bumped, and both of them jumped in surprise.

Finally Blue set her jaw and turned to him. “Gansey,” she said resolutely.

He looked over. “Yes?”

“Touch me,” she said.

Gansey rolled onto his side to face her. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Mm-hmm.”

His hand reached out in the darkness and landed on her bicep.

“Good start,” said Blue. “Keep going.”

Slowly, ever so slowly Gansey inched his way closer until there was a hairs width between their bodies. He kept one hand rubbing up and down the length of her arm, as the other hand touched her face - her nose, cheeks, and jaw.

“God,” breathed Gansey. “I can’t believe you’re real.”

Blue thrilled at this, then panicked. Was he going to try to kiss her? She thought he was probably the type to ask first, but what could she even say….

So she pre-empted the move by tucking her face into his throat and holding him tightly around the middle. She could hear his heart beat, hard and fast.

“Good night, Gansey,” she whispered into the collar of his t-shirt.

“Good night, Blue,” he said softly into her hair.

  
  


CHAPTER VIII - DECEMBER

Blue had begun to realize, upon returning from Nicaragua, that the trip hadn’t been as much about discovering the ley line secrets there as it had been about Gansey wanting to spend time with her, and trying to use money to demonstrate affection. As a teenager this would have upset Blue to no end, and she would have been furious with Gansey.

But as a young adult she capitulated a bit more. It was nice of him, she thought, to take her on a trip. And romantic. She had been working nonstop since they returned, but tonight she was hoping to go over to his house and hang out again.

She was walking home from the Daily Grind when her phone buzzed.  _ Gansey _ .

_ Hi Blue, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight _ .

_ i would like to if thats ok _

He texted back fast, even though Blue was pretty sure he was at work right now.

_ Absolutely. I’ll see you around 7? _

_ k  _

She stayed at home for the next few hours until it was time to leave. It was cold cold now, and Blue wore a giant heavy coat over her big boots with layered tank top and sweater and leggings with holes underneath. As she boarded the bus across the city, it started to snow.

Gansey answered the door on her first knock, wearing a long sleeve green shirt and black joggers. “Blue,” he breathed. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she said, all of a sudden shy. Why did he do this to her?

“Come in, come in,” he said, putting a hand on her back to guide her out of the weather. He took her coat and she slipped off her boots and followed him into the kitchen.

“Have you had dinner yet?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Excellent. I thought we could cook something, if that’s all right?”

“What are we making?”

He started to pull ingredients from the fridge and cupboards. “It’s pasta, with a tomato cream sauce.”

Blue nodded. “Works for me. How can I help?”

“Will you start the pasta going, please?”

They set to work side by side, cooking pasta and dicing and mixing sauce ingredients. They worked well around each other, Blue thought, passing items across the island and not getting in each other’s way.

When it was done, they sat at the table to eat.

“Where are you parents tonight?” Blue noticed a couple bites in.

“Charity event,” Gansey told her. “They won’t be home until much later.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t have to go,” Blue remarked.

Between bites, Gansey said, “I told them I couldn’t tonight. That I had more important plans.” He looked at her intensely across the table, and Blue flushed.

After eating, Gansey washed the dishes while Blue dried them and put them on the dish rack. When they were done he asked if she wanted to hang out a little longer.

“Sure,” Blue replied, and followed him up to his room.

As was now customary, he sat at his desk while she sat on his bed. After a few minutes, however, Gansey asked if she wanted to watch a movie, and Blue agreed. He picked up the laptop and brought it to sit next to her on the bed.

They turned out the lights and settled in on his pillows. Gansey put on an old movie she hadn’t seen, some space adventure.

Blue could hardly pay attention, though, what with Gansey being so minty and close and the room being so dark. She knew they had been in a similar if not more intimate situation alone in Nicaragua, but now it felt somehow more personal. Partway through the movie she felt his hand brush her hand, and she grasped his fingers in hers.

Gansey looked over at her - she could see him out of the corner of her eye in the glow from the laptop - and she bit her lip. Oh god. What was she even doing?

The movie credits rolled and the music played, and Blue rolled to face Gansey as he put the laptop beside the bed.

“It’s getting late,” he told her. “Do you -”

“No,” she said. “I want to stay a little longer, if that’s alright.”

He smiled. “More than all right,” he told her.

They talked for a while about Gansey’s further research into the Central American ley line since they had returned, and about their families. Blue left out the part where she wasn’t speaking to her mother on behalf of Gansey. He didn’t need to know about that right now.

Finally, she checked her phone. 11:58. And the snow was still falling.

Gansey looked something up on the laptop. “The buses aren’t running because of the storm,” he told Blue. “I can get the truck, though…”

“Or I could stay over,” Blue said boldly, and was rewarded by seeing Gansey’s face light up.

“Please,” he said. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

She took off her sweater and socks and climbed under his comforter. Gansey went to his dresser and pulled out a plain white t-shirt. Still facing the dresser, he pulled off his long sleeve shirt to change into the white one.

Blue could not contain a tiny gasp at the sight of his bare lean back. He turned his head, glasses reflecting the minimal light in the room. “Something wrong?”

“I - no,” said Blue. “Everything is fine over here.”

Gansey put on the other shirt and came back to the bed. He pulled up the comforter on the other side and slid under it.

They had slept in the same bed in Nicaragua, and they had touched each other a bit then - but tonight somehow felt more intimate, more possible. Blue could feel the electricity between them in the air.

She peered over the comforter at Gansey, who was looking back at her.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hey,” Blue said nervously, probably due to the whole “sharing-a-bed-with-someone-you-are-possibly-in-love-with-but-it-might-mean-their-death-if-you-guys-kiss” situation.

Gansey moved in a little closer, and so did Blue.

“Blue, I -”

“There’s something -” They spoke at the same time, which caused them both to laugh, which lightened the mood considerably.

“Can we do front to back?” Blue asked, and rolled onto her other side. Gansey acquiesced, inviting her in close to his body and putting an arm around her middle. Blue could feel him breathing softly into her hair.  _ OK, _ she thought.  _ Here goes. _

“Do you - what I mean is, Gansey, do you - believe in true love?”

She felt him inhale sharply.

“I started that wrong,” Blue backtracked. “Do you believe in prophecies?”

“I - of course I do,” he answered, somewhat hesitantly. “I did some readings with your mother and aunts.”

“OK. Well, here goes. Gansey, there’s a prophecy that’s been made about me and my true love. That - ugh. That if I kiss them, they’ll die.”

Gansey was silent for several moments, and withdrew his arm from around her. Blue started to panic, then felt his head drop against the back of her neck. His hand came back and landed on her waist.

“Please say something.”

Another moment of silence, and then - “So does it apply if we - sorry, I mean - if you and your true love kiss at all, or only if  _ you _ kiss  _ them _ ?”

Blue let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I don’t know. And I’m not willing to risk it to find out.”

“What if - what if you kiss someone who isn’t your true love?”

She laughed. “Oh, Gansey. I don’t know about you, but based on how I feel, I’m pretty sure you’d be a goner.”

His hand tightened on her waist. “Based on how I feel? I  _ know _ I would be.”

Blue smiled bitterly, though he couldn’t see her face. “I guess we'll just be sleeping tonight, then,” she said.

Gansey hummed quietly. “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

  
  


CHAPTER IX - JANUARY

After revealing the contents of the prophecy - and with it their feelings for each other - Blue and Gansey danced around each other carefully for several weeks. They spent long hours talking on the phone, and meeting at restaurants and museums, and taking walks in the snow in various parks around the city. They did not spend any time together in private - no road trips, no hanging out at her apartment, no cooking projects or movies and definitely no sleeping together.

They were admiring the First Lady dresses one late afternoon when Gansey remarked, “I’ve been to the Daily Grind several times, but you’ve never visited me at work.”

Blue looked at him incredulously. “Uh, because you’re a senator? And you don’t have like a normal workplace?”

“It’s open to the public though,” he countered. “Why not come by?”

The week after he extended the invitation, Blue had a free afternoon at the same time that the legislature wasn’t in session. She took the bus downtown and met Gansey on the front steps of the Capitol.

Past the security guards and the media, which Gansey breezed by with a flash of his badge, they entered the large Senate chamber which Blue had only seen on TV.

“Where do you sit?” she whispered, and he led her over to a desk off to the side.

Blue was puzzled. “Why don’t you sit in the front?”

“Assigned seats, by seniority. And it doesn’t get less senior than me around here.”

“Oh.” Then she had another thought. “Where does your mom sit?” 

Gansey pointed down, front and center. “I don’t actually see her when we’re in session,” he told Blue, which struck her as somehow sad. Gansey didn’t seem to be very close to his mom, though he definitely presented like he wanted to be. This prompted thoughts of her own mom, who she still was not speaking to. Blue supposed it might be time to give her a call.

She looked back at Gansey, who had sat down at his desk. “Can I sit?” she asked.

“Sure,” Gansey said, and made to stand up, but Blue stopped him. 

“You can stay there,” she said, trying to sound light and playful and not entirely sure she was managing to. She turned and tucked her skirt under her, and delicately seated herself on Gansey’s lap.

His hands hovered in the air, like he wanted to touch her but wasn’t sure if he could. She grabbed his hands decisively and placed them on her hips.

“So, what issues are you working on now?” she asked.

Gansey stuttered several times, and Blue could feel his sweaty palms through her thin skirt. Good. She was making him nervous.

“It’s, ah - a - uh, bill, that makes it so, um, people, um, can’t -” he trailed off, and Blue smiled.

“Can’t talk when there’s a girl sitting on them?” she supplied, and Gansey made a very un-Gansey-like face at her.

“This isn’t fair, Blue,” he groaned.

“Life’s not fair,” she told him. “Keep talking.”

He continued his explanation right up to the point when the door opened off to the side. A man with white hair dressed in a neat navy suit and tie entered, and did a double take when he recognized Gansey.

“Dick!” he exclaimed, and Blue smirked. Henry Cheng’s old nickname had stuck, apparently. She wondered, briefly, if Gansey was introducing himself as Dick or if his coworkers had given him the nickname. “Oh, sorry, I see that you’re - busy.”

“It’s all right,” said Gansey. “Blue, I’d like you to meet Senator Orton.”

Blue jumped up and went to shake the man’s hand. Gansey followed close behind her, and they stood making small talk with Senator Orton for a few minutes. Blue could feel Gansey’s hand pressed slightly against her lower back, and she shivered pleasantly at the thought that he wasn’t even embarrassed to be caught with her.

“So, Gansey, is this your girlfriend? I know a lot of young ladies who would be disappointed to hear you’re off the market,” Senator Welles said jovially.

Blue looked at Gansey. Gansey looked at Blue. There was a question in his eyes.  _ I don’t mind _ , Blue answered back silently.

“In fact she is, Senator Orton,” Gansey said, and his tone sounded proud. God, this was so different than the uncertainty of a few months ago. And nerve-wracking, too. In a whole new way.

The senator smiled widely. “Well, good for you,” he said, then turned to Blue. “And I suppose you’re an intern of some sort around here?”

Blue took a deep breath before answering. “No. I’m not an intern anywhere. I work at a coffee shop, a bit south of here.”

Senator Orton continued to smile, but now it looked pasted on his face. “Well, isn’t that nice,” he said. “I’ll leave you two alone. I just stopped by to grab some papers.”

Gansey seemed to sense the same thing as Blue - the senator was uncomfortable with the idea of Gansey dating a barista. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Gansey said evenly to Orton, who nodded and left.

Blue looked deploringly at Gansey as soon as the door had shut behind the senator. “Gansey, I’m sorry, I -”

“Why are you sorry? He was the one who was being condescending.”

“You shouldn’t have had to say I was your girlfriend,” Blue said. “To be honest, you probably shouldn’t be associating with me at all. I’m bad for business.”

Gansey raised his eyebrows. “If that’s how you really feel,” he said, not very warmly. “I thought we were past this. I guess not.”

Blue was reminded of back in the summer when they had seen the photographer at the beach and she thought he was embarrassed by her. He had allayed her fears then. And they had only gotten closer, or so she thought. “Gans, that’s not what I meant -”

He shook his head sadly. “I thought I had made it clear, Blue. I will be on your side, no matter what. I’m not embarrassed, if that’s what you think. If anything, you’re too good for me.”

Blue narrowed her eyes. “In what world, Gansey?”

She turned and left him by his desk, without a backward glance.

  
  


CHAPTER X - FEBRUARY

Tia, who was Orla’s friend and Blue’s roommate, made it very clear to Blue that she wanted the apartment alone for her and her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.

“You can just sleep at your boyfriend’s, right?” Tia said. Blue wondered how Tia even knew she had (had past tense? Has, present tense? Who knew, at this point) a boyfriend.

“Orla told me,” Tia told Blue. This was not great news - if Orla knew, it meant all of 300 Fox Way knew - including her mother.

“Fine,” Blue said. “I’ll be out.”

She went up to her room, laid down on the bed, and dialed Maura.

“Blue,” Maura answered after one ring.

“Hi,” Blue said morosely. “You can probably say I told you so now.”

“Orla told me you and him had a fight,” said Maura.

“Orla needs to learn to mind her own business,” said Blue. “But that’s beside the point. We did have a fight. But I already told him about the prophecy.”

Maura was silent a moment. “I see. How did he take it?”

“He had questions. Logical ones. Of course,” said Blue.

“I’m sorry, Blue,” her mom said. “You know I didn’t want it to be like this, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Blue conceded. “But it sucks that it is.”

“Totally,” Maura agreed.

They caught up for a few more minutes about 300 Fox Way and life in DC, then hung up. Blue felt like a weight had been lifted from her.

It did not, however, solve her Gansey issue; they still hadn’t spoken since their fight last month. Blue was still laying on her bed holding her phone when she felt it buzz. Caller ID showed it was Adam.

She answered quickly. “What’s up, Adam? Aren’t you at school?”

“I am, but we’re not talking about that.”

Blue was slightly taken aback. “Oh. What are we talking about?”

“We are talking,” Adam said with the inflection of someone who is trying to be patient and not fully succeeding, “about you. And how you are  _ not _ talking to Gansey.”

“Did he put you up to this or something?” Blue was immediately suspicious.

Adam sighed. “Blue, he’s been calling me twice a day every day for the past three weeks. The man is desperate to talk to you again.”

“I doubt that. If he wanted to talk to me, why wouldn’t he just call me?”

“He thinks you’re embarrassed to be associated with him. That one of you doesn’t think you’re good enough for the other or something - I don’t know. Will you please just talk to him so I can stay out of this?”

Blue took a deep breath. “How did he sound?”

“Upset, Blue. The same way you do.”

She and Adam caught up for another minute, then he had to go to class and they hung up. Blue went back to laying on the bed and holding her phone. 

Should she call Gansey? Did she think what they had was something true? And if so, was it worth it to still be in each other’s lives like they were now?

Finally she sent a text.

_ hi _

And then she waited. Several minutes went by and she began to think he wasn’t going to text back. Then -

_ I was beginning to think you weren’t going to speak to me again. _

_ um why _

Another long moment, as though he was choosing his words carefully.

_ You were the one who left angry, Blue. I would have talked it out with you _

She began to type a response, then noticed he was still typing.

_ God I care about you so much Blue I dont want to lose you from my life _

Her heart skipped a beat at that.

_ u know I care about u too gans _

In response he sent a picture of himself with a wide grin on his face. Blue saved it as her phone background. She knew she had it bad. She didn’t care.

_ Do you want to come over some time? _

_ ya i really do _

His response was fast.  _ When are you free? _

She bit her lip. Valentine’s day instantly came to her mind. How cheeky should she be? 

_ does the 14th work _

_ Of course. Come over any time after 5 _

Perfect. Now she would be out of the house,  _ and  _ hanging out with Gansey. If she was going to invite herself to sleep over he didn’t need to know that now.

_ see u then _

It was one of the most agonizing 4 day stretches of Blue’s life. She had so many questions - were they going to talk about their fight? Would he be happy to see her or would things be weird between them? What would transpire during the night?

Blue wore a long dress and a jean jacket with earrings and boots on Valentine’s day. She took the bus at 5 to the Ganseys townhouse where Mr. Gansey greeted her at the door, over-the-top and excited as usual.

“Blue! Welcome back! We were beginning to worry!”

She doubted  _ that _ very much. Well, the ‘we’ part anyway. She assumed he was referring to Senator Mrs. Gansey, who had never seemed to be a big fan of Blue.

“Can I go up?” she asked shyly.

Mr. Gansey nodded. “Absolutely. Richard is expecting you.” He then  _ winked _ \- yes, winked - at Blue and went into the kitchen.

Trying to figure out whatever  _ that _ was, Blue climbed the stairs and let herself into Gansey’s room. He was at his laptop with headphones on and his back to the door. She closed the door behind her, took her shoes off, and made herself at home on his bed, content to wait until Gansey was done with whatever obsession project he was working on now.

After about ten minutes, Gansey turned around and noticed Blue on his bed. He jumped, then his face broke out into his wide grin.

“Jane! I knew you would make it!”

“Um, why wouldn’t I have?” She stood up and met him by his desk, then impulsively wrapped her arms around his neck in a brief hug.

Gansey froze, then she could feel his hands come up and rest ever so gently on her back.

She rested her forehead right below his throat, and breathed deeply. He smelled like Gansey and mint, and she could feel him trembling slightly.

“God, Blue,” he whispered into her hair. “What are you doing to me.”

They broke apart, but Gansey kept his hands on Blue’s shoulders. “Blue, I’m sorry,” he said earnestly. “But you have to know I am not - and will never be - embarrassed, ashamed, or anything but proud of you and to know you.”

Blue nodded. She had a lump in her throat. “Me too,” she said. “Truly. I am so lucky to have you in my life, Gansey.”

They sat next to each other on the bed.

“I talked to my mom the other day,” Blue said.

“Oh? How is Maura?”

Blue scrunched up her nose. “She was - I don’t know - upset with me, like weeks and weeks ago. Now? I’m not sure. She knows I told you about the prophecy, though.”

“Was she one of the people who foretold it?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Maura’s been saying it practically since I was born.”

Gansey seemed thoughtful. “I wonder if she would have any insight about the limits of it.”

“I don’t think so. She would have told me, right?”

He shrugged. “There’s really only one way to find out.”

Blue made a note to herself to ask Maura if there was anything about the prophecy she knew that she hadn’t shared with Blue when she was younger.

Gansey changed the subject, bringing up the research he had been working on most recently.

“I haven’t had any insights about the darkness along the line,” he said. “But down by Appomattox someone excavated a tomb with an old sword in it recently.”

“What? That’s strange,” said Blue. “You don’t think -”

“I don’t know,” Gansey said. “But I’m wondering.”

They talked a while longer - for a while Blue could hear the sounds of Gansey’s parents moving around downstairs, talking and laughing. But even they had gone silent hours ago.

“Well, it’s about that time,” Blue said, stretching her arms and yawning. Gansey’s face fell. 

“Do you have to go already?”

Blue shrugged. “I don’t  _ have _ to….”

“Stay. Please, I’ll -”

She laughed. “OK. But I need to borrow a t-shirt or something to sleep in, all I have is my dress.”

Gansey jumped up right away and went to his closet. “Here,” he said, tossing a bundle of cloth her way. She caught it, then he turned around again and began changing into a t-shirt himself, unbuttoning the shirt he had been wearing which looked like something he had probably worn to work that day. He started to take off his pants, and she turned away quickly.

  1. Gansey’s shirt. The shirt that belonged to Gansey. She had volunteered herself to sleep in just that, and now it was time to take the plunge. She slipped out of her vest and unzipped her dress, letting it fall and leaving her in just a bra and underwear. _Please, Gansey, do not turn around right now._

Pulling his shirt over her head, Blue turned around to find Gansey lounging on his bed in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. His shirt on her came halfway down her thighs and she noticed now that it read “AGLIONBY ROWING”.

She laid down next to him, tucking herself under the blankets. Gansey looked over at her and did the same. He turned out the light and she was left with the orangish illumination from the streetlights outside, casting Gansey’s features softly into shadow.

“Blue,” he whispered. “I think I -”

“Don’t say it,” she whispered back. “Please, Gansey.”

He took her in his arms and she tucked her head under his chin. Their feet and legs intertwined - she could feel his bare legs on hers.

She knew - she didn’t know how she knew - that he was about to say he loved her. She knew, and she didn’t want it to be true. If it wasn’t, maybe they would have a future together.

Maybe they would have more time.

  
  


CHAPTER XI - MARCH

Time was not on Blue’s side, however. February was as short as promised, and before she knew it, it was the last week of March. Snow was melting (a little), cherry blossoms were starting to bud (barely), and she still hadn’t seen Gansey since Valentine’s day. The new bill he was helping push through necessitated long hours at work, nearly every single day, and when he wasn’t working, he was passed out, exhausted. Blue offered to come over several times but each time he declined, saying he was too tired. The last Sunday in March, she tried to convince him to let her come over, and it finally worked.

The Gansey she saw looked markedly different from the Gansey she had seen six weeks ago. He was thinner, with dark circles under his eyes and a weary expression. Blue hadn’t seen Gansey look like this since - well, near the conclusion of the hunt for Glendower.

“Hey,” she said, closing his bedroom door behind her. “I brought soup.”

Gansey smiled wearily, reaching his arms out for a hug. He didn’t even smell very Gansey-like, Blue noted, only like coffee.

She wrapped her arms around him, reveling in his presence nonetheless.

“Hi,” he whispered. “I missed you.”

They broke apart, and Blue made Gansey sit down and eat some of the soup she had made. It was a Calla recipe, and very fortifying, she felt.

He told her about the bill they were pushing through, and how his mother was extra forceful about him getting his name on it, to “bolster his career.” Blue couldn’t really see why doing something you didn’t seem to like was worth all the trouble, and Gansey sighed and explained that in his family, you didn’t always get to make your own choices.

That sounded sad, and Blue hugged him again. Their faces were very close together.

“Have you talked to your mom yet? About -”

“Not yet,” said Blue. “I will this week.” She knew he was referring to asking Maura about any prophecy loopholes she might have been holding out on.

They talked a little while longer, then Blue remembered something. “I didn’t come just to give you soup,” she said.

“Oh?” said Gansey, and there was a playful spark in his eye she loved to see.

“I came to give you - well, I thought you could maybe use a massage?” Her offer came out less confident than she had hoped, but Gansey’s reaction made it all worth it. He reeled back as if she’d hit him, and started to stutter.

“I - well, you - I mean - that is, if - I don’t know -”

“Come on,” Blue said. “It’ll be fun. And relaxing.”

He took off his fleece vest and laid it over his desk chair, then came back to sit on the bed. “Is this all right?” he asked.

“Hmmm….almost,” Blue responded. “You need to take your shirt off, too.”

Gansey reeled again, and Blue almost giggled. He was so uptight. But that was the point of giving someone a massage, right?

Slowly, slowly he peeled his shirt off, over his head and shoulders and down his arms. Blue openly admired his body. He was pale and lean, and she wondered when he exercised.

“OK,” she said. Blue settled herself sitting behind Gansey on the bed and began to work on his shoulders. His skin was warm and smooth, and Blue could feel herself starting to heat up as well.

She worked slowly, from his shoulders and neck down to his upper back and then lower back. His muscles were super tight, she noticed, and chalked it up to the stress and pressure he’d been under.

“Relax, Gans,” she said softly into his ear. “Everything is OK.”

Gansey made a face.

“What,” she asked.

“Hard to relax with you pressed against me like that,” he mumbled. Blue smiled. She loved that she could have such an effect on him.

She ended the massage after about 45 minutes by laying on his back and wrapping her arms around his front. It was so tempting to just lay her lips on the back of his neck, but she wasn’t so far gone as to actually do it.

Finally she climbed off the bed and came around to look at him. Gansey had a slightly dazed, yet almost pained look on his face.

“Something wrong?”

Gansey couldn’t meet her eyes. “No,” he mumbled, but his eyes cast downward, and Blue realized why he was being so cagey. He had his hands folded on his lap, but that wasn’t enough to conceal his bulging pants.

Blue felt warm all over. It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought about Gansey like that - she had. But it was an entirely other thing to encounter it in person. What should she do? Leave? Sit on his lap? Ignore it?

After a moment she turned away and changed the subject. “I’m going to visit the Barns while Adam’s there on spring break,” she told him.

“Oh!” Gansey seemed interested in this. “I wish I could go. It must be this week, right?”

“Yes,” said Blue.

They talked a little while longer, but Blue felt there had been a subtle yet fundamental shift in things between them. Of course they had talked before about kissing, but everything so far had an innocent quality to it. Gansey’s physical reaction to Blue’s body turned the unspoken conversation innately sexual.

They did not hug good bye when she left.

Her bus ride to the Barns felt short, and Blue felt unprepared when she arrived. Should she talk about her and Gansey’s - whatever it was? She was pretty sure it was going to come up as a conversation topic whether she wanted it to or not.

Blue wasn’t wrong. Her first night at the Barns, Adam addressed the subject.

“I know I’ve said this before, but what’s going on with you and Gansey?”

“I don’t know,” said Blue. “I mean. Maybe I do. But nothing  _ can _ be going on, you know?”

“Because of your prophecy,” said Adam. “That doesn’t mean nothing  _ is _ going on, though.”

Blue couldn’t meet Adam’s eyes. “I think it’s just a crush,” she said.

“I think that’s bullshit,” said Adam. “And you know it.”

“Fine,” said Blue, her voice rising, barely noticing that Ronan had walked in the room. “Fine. You want me to say it? I’ll say it. Gansey is my true love. And that means he’s going to die.”

There was a silence for a moment before Ronan spoke. “Well shit maggot, at least you’re admitting it.”

She flipped him off.

“No, I mean it,” he said. “You two have been dancing around each other for almost a year now, and before that, another one, when we were in high school. At least you’re not lying to yourself any more.”

Blue supposed he had a point. It felt kind of good to not be in denial.

“So, spill maggot. What have you two been up to?”

Blue explained the last few months, how they had been hanging out, sleeping in Gansey’s bed together, the massage….”Whoa,” Adam said. “That’s pretty intense.”

“Bet he creamed his pants after,” Ronan smirked, and Blue threw a pillow at him.

“Don’t be gross, Ronan.”

But to be honest it wasn’t like she hadn’t wondered that, too.

The next day Blue went to visit her mother and see if she could squeeze out any new prophecy information.

After greeting her, and Calla, and Jimi, and Gwenlillian, and the 800 kids that seemed to always be underfoot, Blue sat down with Maura in the living room.

“Is there anything you haven’t told me about the prophecy?” Blue asked.

Maura sighed. “I was thinking you were probably coming to ask something like that,” she said. “You’ve gotten very attached to Gansey, haven’t you.”

Blue nodded. There wasn’t much else to say, or pretense to hide behind.

“The only thing I know is this,” said Maura. “A bit of insight that came to me in November. The prophecy does say if you kiss your true love, they will die. But it does not say they will die instantly. Does that make sense?”

Hope surged through Blue, and Maura could obviously tell. “Now, don’t get all excited, Blue. You still shouldn’t kiss him. It will cause his death, and it still might be instantly or soon after. But I believe - possibly - that there is a chance for you two.”

Blue hugged her mother. She knew it wasn’t much. But it was something.

  
  


CHAPTER XII - APRIL

Blue and Gansey met up at a cafe in DC a couple weeks after her visit with her mother. They sat outside and held hands across the table.

“So,” he said, feigning casualness, “any new info from Maura?”

Blue grinned. She knew he was trying to play it cool, and couldn’t wait to share with him what Maura had told her. “The prophecy doesn’t say that if we kiss you’ll die right away. It could be months. Years, even.”

Gansey said, “You said if  _ we  _ kiss. Not ‘if you kiss your true love.’”

“There’s not much use pretending anymore, Gansey. At least not for me.”

He grinned. “Me either.”

“So where do we go from here?”

Gansey was quiet a minute, then said, “Do  _ you _ think there’s a chance for us?”

Blue furrowed her brow. “I - I don’t know. I don’t want to doom you, Gansey. Never. But you have to make your own destiny too, you know?”

“Yes and no,” he said. “That’s something I’ve been struggling with lately.”

They both sipped their coffee and ate some of their sandwiches.

Later they took a walk down by the riverfront, and talked about everything, and nothing. Gansey was close to getting the bill he had worked on past, and finally explained it to Blue.

“It’s about the regulation of assault weapons,” he said. “Trying to curb the sale and distribution of them in our country. I am nervous, though. I don’t know how successful it’s going to be.”

“If it’s something you believe in, you have to do it anyway, you know?” Blue said thoughtfully. “It doesn’t really matter what the fallout from it will be. Only that you pursue it because you trust it’s the right thing to do.”

They walked a bit longer, then turned around and headed back toward Gansey’s truck. They sat inside it for a few minutes, next to each other on the bench seat, and Blue rested her head on Gansey’s shoulder.

By the week of St. Mark’s, spring had fully arrived in Virginia, and Gansey’s bill had been passed through the system. To celebrate, he and Blue went down to the Barns for the weekend.

They walked hand in hand around the grounds, through the various outbuildings and pastures and over a small stream to a field distant from the main house. There they sat, legs pressed against each other, and talked about high school, and Glendower, and the new ley lines. Finally they laid on their backs and closed their eyes, resting in the sun.

When Blue woke up, the shadows were all different from how they had been, and Gansey was running his fingers through her hair.

“Blue,” he said quietly. “Please.”

“You’ll die if you kiss me,” she warned, her skin suddenly feeling too tight.

“I’ll die if I don’t,” he answered, and dipped down to meet her lips.

Kissing Gansey was like the sweetest torture there was, Blue found. There was so much passion, emotion in his every move and she felt her energy rising to meet his. She sat up, wrapping her arms around Gansey’s neck and bringing him in close, while his hands were everywhere, her hair, the back of her neck, up and down her back, resting on her waist.

“Can we -” he started to say, and Blue cut him off. She didn’t say what she should have, which was that they shouldn’t be doing this or that it was too late. She said what was on her heart.

“Please, Gansey.”

He reached down and pulled her shirt off, revealing the orangish bra she barely needed underneath. He took off his shirt as well, and came forward again, pressing their bodies against each other. Blue felt too big and too small and like she could fly, all at once.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered in her ear between kisses. “You’re beautiful, and you’re perfect, and god, I love you, I love you so much Blue -”

She could feel them welling up behind her eyes, but Blue would not cry. She would not. She kept kissing him and touching his body and feeling the feel of him laying against her, on top of her, eventually inside her.

After some time they got dressed again, and walked back to the Barns, hand in hand again. Gansey had a giant grin on his face. Blue tried smiling too, but it felt like an effort.

Outside the main house, Blue told Gansey to go in without her. “I’m going to see my mother,” she told him. “I love you.” He kissed her once more, blissfully unaware, and went inside the house.

Blue went straight back to 300 Fox Way, went inside without speaking to anyone, and went upstairs to her old room. She laid down on her bed and fell asleep for 14 hours.

In the morning, St. Mark’s Day, the phone rang.

Every psychic face in the house turned to Blue.

And then, finally, the tears started to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> Images for this story can be found at https://www.pinterest.com/wolfpackof1/sywlg-moodboard/


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